Well, I must say I’m very proud of my brother Cole. He has been winning shows!
I am determined not to be outdone so I have been thinking very hard about how I can compete with my successful brother. After much deliberation and in view of my extremely fine gardening skills (this is no time for false modesty) I have decided to enter Chelsea Flower Show this year. My garden will have twin themes which I am sure you will agree are at the very heart of a successful garden – digging and dirt. I’m still considering whether to include a third theme because it is an essential part of the authentic gardening experience chez nous.
I am of course, talking about the rich vocabulary of technical gardening terms that M & D possess, which is really quite awesome. For example lumps of soil start at “bloody little sod” and go right the way up to “friggin’ great big sod.” And the usefulness of my contributions is graded on a sliding scale that begins with “liitle R’s” and goes all the way up to “the biggest R’s on the planet.” It’s enough to make a dog blush with pride. The neighbours do too. The planting will be mainly blue to reflect the colour of the air.
So, see you at Chelsea. Hope you can make it. Best in show will be a doddle.
What’s that Mum……….? Not that kind of show? A DOG show? Oh WOW, can we do that please?
What do you mean, “Hell can freeze over first?” What are you implying about dog shows…..? My BEHAVIOUR? What about my behaviour………….?
Well, really……. old sod.
Angus
I wonder if your talent lies more in an ‘eating random things competition’? Or would that be running up vet bills competition ?
Dear Aunty Judith,
There is nothing “random” about my eating. If it’s within reach, it’s mine. If it’s not, it’s still mine.
I was introduced to liquorice recently. That was nice too.
[Ed: Actually it was the little black clips that hold together the cone of shame. Soon eaten and replaced with cable ties]
Bramble, too, has eaten his bonus liquorice clips on his cone of shame. it is currently held together by rubber bands, cable ties and some archival tape I borrowed from my place of work. The cone is used as a bulldozer or as a method of trapping beetles. I don’t think the household is going to last until the cone is removed on Friday. Hold together, house.