… Dad says it is my own fault for eating everything I find when we go for a walk in the woods.
He says there’s a Labrador’s Lament which goes something like this:
Today in the woods I ate some wood
But one piece of wood wasn’t so good
In fact, I think now I’m not so good
Since I ate that bit of wood in the woods
It’s time I gave you that reproachful look
The one you read about in Labrador books
The one that says “Why have you made me feel crook?”
(“Oh boy do I think I need to puke!”)
Now I have had a puke and a c***
I think I need an extended nap
I don’t have the energy to jump on your lap
No, I’ll just have that long, long nap.
But next morning comes and I’m feeling good!
Ready and fit for a walk in the woods
And the very best thing about that you see
Is the chance you get to eat bits of tree.
But I really was feeling better the next day so we were able to go to the puppy socialisation class at my Vet’s.
It was all so exciting that I don’t remember much about it so at this point I’ll hand over to Dad.
The session was held in the reception area at the vet’s surgery. It’s not huge so there were only five puppies and their families – three females and two males. Picture this:
On one side of reception sit three demure females (a spaniel, a border terrier, and a cream Labrador), quietly waiting for proceedings to begin. On the other side, there is a contest going on between the two males for ‘hooligan of the month.’ It’s a close run thing between a boisterous black Labrador who we’ll call Angus and Max the alpha male Husky. It’s a contest that Angus is winning by a country mile. The ladies on the other side of reception are looking on aghast at such dreadful behaviour.
Now It’s usually the case that males are bigger than females but it looks like either of the two boys could be as heavy as the three females put together! Mabel, the Labrador is half the size of Angus and the owners could hardly believe it when we compared notes and found they were both 15 weeks old. I don’t think Mabel could believe her eyes either, especially when Angus gave her a playful tap with one of his great fat paws.
However, when the lady running the session started to talk, Angus was very attentive (apart from the occasional attempt to chew the cable of the CD player). They all had an individual session in the examination room with the nurse to learn how to be examined without fretting, after which they got a treat. Then there was a session of ‘musical sits’ where they all had to walk around and when the music stopped, sit on command. To our surprise, Angus wasn’t excluded first-time round and came middle of the pack. Mabel the Labrador was the star of the show.
Next, the nurse announced that we would have an off-lead play session. At this point, there was visible concern on the faces of some of the owners but a crate of soft toys was produced and off they went.
Angus decided to see how many soft toys he could get in his mouth at once (answer = three). Max decided he would see how many soft toys he could take from Angus, much to Angus’s consternation. Max tried a bit of alpha male stuff which worked for a while before Angus decided he’d had enough of that and they then went into a non-stop tug of war session. Meanwhile, the ladies looked on in horror before deciding basically to a) ignore them b) keep out of their way (easier said than done) and c) play amongst themselves.
After that, it was time to go. On the way out Mum said to Mabel’s owners “We’ll see you on ‘Britain’s got Talent maybe?’ and Dad said, “You’ll probably see us on Crimestoppers!” Charming.
Angus
