The Best Laid Plans……

Location:  A field somewhere near Juniper

Highfield High-jinx Hounds are on full alert

Gary: “Right, I’m off to pickup Angus”

Susan: “OK, we’d better go through the checklist then.”

“Now remember Gary.  With Angus, it’s like a game of chess.  You have to outsmart the opponent and think several moves ahead.  Ready?”

“Ready”

“OK, all loose items in van tied down?”

“Check”

“Including the purple wellies?”

Especially the purple wellies. Check”

“No Thermos flasks, fleeces, towels or other extraneous items in the field that he can make off with?”

“Check”

“Our lunch boxes are secured?”

“Check”

Other dogs in his cage have been hand picked for robustness?

“Check”

“Heavy duty lead ready?”

“Check”

“Booted and Suited?”

“Hang on!”

<stretch, groan, zip, groan, stretch, buckle.>  “Can you just …?  Ooh, ah, yep, that’s it.”<zip…. zip… POP> Argh, that was my shoulder!” <clip, zip, Snap, Crackle and Pop>

“You know Gary,” says Susan, with a coquettish smile, “some people do this for recreational purposes?”

“Forget it Josephine.”

“OK Check”

“No protruding flaps, loose cuffs, gaiters or bootlaces?”

“Er… Check!”

“Mate, you’re ready to go”

“OK”

“Hang on though, I’m a bit cold, chuck us that fleece will you.”

“There you go.”

<throws Gary a fleece which he hastily dons>

“And we’re off!”

<Some time later>

“Morning Paul – come to collect Angus”

Angus: <Bounce, leap, spin>

“We’re totally totally TOTALLY ready for him this time.  Anything he can take is well and truly screwed down.  And I’m all booted and suited.  Let’s see the little tinker steal anything today!”

“Paul: Er……he’s just taken some gloves out of your fleece pocket, Gary.”

“What? No! Dammit! Dammit!! Dammit!!!!!!”

 

[Ed: Readers – take a bonus point if you spotted the hidden chess reference.]

  1. Mate, I have no idea. Need to check it once more. Happy birthday brother Angus xx

  2. Paul Barrett says:

    Right back at you Bramble. M&D are hoping that the next 12 months will be slightly calmer than the previous. I have no idea WHAT they mean and shall continue as I am thank you very much

    Re the chess reference, you are very, very, very close but the full answer is two words. The other one is just a whisper away

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